How I Handle Sibling Injustice

“Mo-om! Why did [sibling’s name] get more [milliliters of juice/millimeters of cookie/milliseconds of screen time] than I did?! That’s not fair!”

Oh, yes. About that. Your father and I were talking last night, and we decided that there’s not nearly enough conflict around here. So we figured it was high time we chose a Favorite Child—a Chosen One upon whom we could heap extra privileges so the rest of you would have something to complain about.

It was a tough call to determine which one of you was our Favorite. We weighed each of your admirable character traits, but wouldn’t you know, you’re all equally awesome. So we figured we’d take the opposite approach by comparing all of your irritating qualities. But, as luck would have it, you’re all equally annoying as well.

In light of that, we thought the only fair way to choose a Favorite would be to pick a name out of a hat. We couldn’t find a hat, but we did find some darts. So we pinned up photos of you and your siblings, put on a blindfold, spun around six times, and tossed darts at the wall. It took a few times to actually hit one of you, but lo and behold, one of those suckers finally landed smack dab in the middle of your sister’s forehead.

Therefore, she’s our Favorite, and that’s why she got more [milliliters of juice/millimeters of cookie/milliseconds of screen time] than you did.

Don’t fret, darling. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll get a dart in the forehead tomorrow.

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Annie writes about life, motherhood, world issues, beautiful places, and anything else that tickles her brain. On good days, she enjoys juggling life with her husband and homeschooling her children. On bad days, she binges on chocolate chips and dreams of traveling the world alone.

Comments 13

    1. I like that one Annie. I’ll have to use it. Krista’s response is what we said before we banned “that’s not fair!” from being said in our house entirely. Anyone who says that gets less treats and more chores than his brother & has to pay us $5. We figured if they keep accusing us of being unfair, might as well prove them right 🙂

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