“Mo-om! Why did [sibling’s name] get more [milliliters of juice/millimeters of cookie/milliseconds of screen time] than I did?! That’s not fair!”
Oh, yes. About that. Your father and I were talking last night, and we decided that there’s not nearly enough conflict around here. So we figured it was high time we chose a Favorite Child—a Chosen One upon whom we could heap extra privileges so the rest of you would have something to complain about.
It was a tough call to determine which one of you was our Favorite. We weighed each of your admirable character traits, but wouldn’t you know, you’re all equally awesome. So we figured we’d take the opposite approach by comparing all of your irritating qualities. But, as luck would have it, you’re all equally annoying as well.
In light of that, we thought the only fair way to choose a Favorite would be to pick a name out of a hat. We couldn’t find a hat, but we did find some darts. So we pinned up photos of you and your siblings, put on a blindfold, spun around six times, and tossed darts at the wall. It took a few times to actually hit one of you, but lo and behold, one of those suckers finally landed smack dab in the middle of your sister’s forehead.
Therefore, she’s our Favorite, and that’s why she got more [milliliters of juice/millimeters of cookie/milliseconds of screen time] than you did.
Don’t fret, darling. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll get a dart in the forehead tomorrow.