A gun is an inanimate object. It can’t do anything on its own. Like any other tool, the person using it determines its use.
Therefore—obviously—our huge number of guns and loose/inconsistent gun laws are not to blame for America’s 33,000 firearm deaths per year. Guns aren’t the reason that Americans are ten times more likely to be killed by guns than citizens of other developed nations. Guns aren’t why our gun-related murder rate is 25 times higher and our gun suicide rate is eight times higher than 22 other high-income nations. 
I mean, a gun can’t shoot itself, so why blame guns for gun death statistics?
The fact that the U.S. accounts for 90 percent of all women, 91 percent of all children under 14, and 92 percent of people between ages 15 and 25 killed by guns among high-income nations has absolutely nothing to do with guns. Many of those other countries have guns, too, but guns don’t kill people. People kill people.
The fact that we have enough guns in our country to arm every American citizen has no bearing on our gun violence rates. Neither does the fact that we have loose gun regulations in comparison to other developed nations. When gun violence occurs, it’s the person holding the gun that’s to blame, not the gun itself.
In fact, the more guns the better, because even though statistics say that more guns equals more gun violence, we all know that the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
It’s not a gun problem, it’s a heart problem, people. Evil doesn’t follow laws. Evil will always find a way.
Yes, evil—not guns—is to blame for America’s gun violence problem. Evil exists in other nations, too, of course. Therefore, the only logical conclusion is that Americans must be more evil than people in other nations. And not just by a little bit. Our evil is so ubiquitous that no other developed nation has anywhere near our gun death rates. In fact, if you take away official armed conflict casualties (which seems fair, since we don’t have any official armed conflict happening on our soil), America’s gun death rate is also higher than Sudan, Iran, Syria, Turkey, Lebanon, the West Bank, Gaza, and Jordan. 
So. Much. Evil. In. America.
Clearly, our population is possessed by demons or something. Satan seems to have a heck of a foothold here in the U.S., eh?
Then again, maybe it’s not so much evil American spirits. Maybe it’s more about mental health than actual evil. Still definitely not about guns, though. Our easy access to weapons that have the capacity to kill two dozen people in not even as many seconds has absolutely nothing to do with mass shootings. Americans are just way, way, way more likely than people in other countries to have a screw loose. We have some kind of inherent tendency to go off the deep end and commit heinous acts of violence with semi-automatic firearms. I mean, it’s not our fault, it just must be the way Americans are hard-wired, since it’s obviously not about how our country approaches gun use.
Of course, not all gun deaths are due to people wishing harm upon others. A large percentage of gun deaths are suicides—clearly a mental health issue, which has nothing whatsoever to do with the immediacy and almost guaranteed success of using a firearm to commit suicide.
Some gun deaths are accidental, too. But the fact that our accidental gun death rate is also sky high compared to other developed nations doesn’t mean it’s a problem with guns or laws. Guns aren’t accidentally shooting people all by themselves, folks! That’s a brain problem, not a gun problem. Americans are obviously just dumber than people in other countries, woefully unable to figure out how to not accidentally shoot themselves or how to keep their guns out of the hands of toddlers.
See? It’s crystal clear that guns aren’t the issue. The United States having a gun for every man, woman and child and comparatively loose gun regulation has zero to do with how our gun violence rates compare with other developed nations. America just has far more evil, crazy, and stupid people than other countries do. It’s the only reasonable explanation.
Don’t let that fool you, though. We are still—somehow, don’t ask me how—the Greatest Country on Earth. So if you don’t like it here, you can always go move to one of those semi-socialist European countries where healthcare is universal, guns are highly regulated, and parents don’t have to remind their kids to pay attention during active shooter drills when they send them off to school.
I’ll be sitting proud here in the good ol’ U.S. of A., reminding my kids that guns don’t kill people, people kill people.
Most of the time with guns.
But only every other week or so.
My thoughts and prayers are with the victims. Every time. Of course.
(For more on guns and America, head over to my article about how state laws appear to show that gun legislation works to curb gun death rates: http://www.scarymommy.com/strict-gun-laws-reduce-gun-death-rates/)
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“In fact, the more guns the better, because even though statistics say that more guns equals more gun violence, we all know that the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”
Congratulations, you’ve declared yourself a bumbling imbecile
Oops I was mad and I thought this was serious
Sorry about all the negative comments by short sighted people. I was raised by marines and taught to respect and shoot guns at an early age. People fear what they dont understand. American schools used to teach marksmanship, but when i went to highschool post 9/11 there was no such classes on healthy gun handling so my class mates are naive and the parents of crazies you see today.
Never in my life have i read a article that made less sense than this. Waste of time. Stick your head up there some more.
The whole point of law making is defining an issue, putting the positives against the negatives and concluding if it’s reasonable.
I like to drink every once in a while. I would like to drive home after that, but I can’t. Not because I can’t hold my drink or can’t be trusted behind the wheel after a few beers. It’s because somewhere, someplace, someone wasn’t as responsible as you are and now there’s a family mourning for their child.
Not everyone crashes into a house killing a family because they are speeding. But for the 0.001% that does, we now have a speed limit. It’s how a society works, it’s how rules work.
I am sure people will disagree, but I don’t mind. I can’t say I have ever felt even remotely unsafe where I live. I have never even known anyone who knowns anyone that was as much as involved in a situation with a gun. Our average national news exists of things like a cat being found, a shooting would be the item of the year.
This is not an attack on the 2nd US amendment, it’s about the 2nd article of the Human Rights Act: the right to life.
But no doubt she’s all for aborting babies.
No doubt the author is cool with abortions. But after reading though some of her articles, she has proven beyond a doubt the “ evil, crazy, stupid American “ part. Maybe she can move to Canada.
What mental gymnastics do people have to do to feel better than someone else? How fucking stupid do you have to be to think “well, this person doesn’t want children to be shot on a weekly basis, so OBVIOUSLY she likes abortions”.
Are you drunk? High? Or just reallllly fucking stupid? I guess since you like guns i can assume YOU like dead children? Just using your logic here.
Great article. Only wish the world accepted how evil the United States is and did something to end all our suffering.
Evil doesn’t exist. It only exisits in the mind of middle-aged stay at home moms.
She being sarcastic dummy.
“Evil doesnt exist” ….
Sounds like something a rapist would say.
“you can always go move to one of those semi-socialist European countries where healthcare is universal, guns are highly regulated…”
Well… it does seem you’d be happier there, so go for it!
Serious question: what if a crazy sicko does show up at your house with a gun, and you have no way of protecting your kids. The police take forever to arrive, and some people don’t even want us to have police. Remember BTK? He tortured and killed almost an entire family of martial artists… there was the mom, asphyxiated with a plastic bag in the bedroom; and the young daughter hanging naked and dead from a pipe in the basement after her torture. What is your game plan in that situation?
even better question … what if someone shows up at your house withOUT a gun?
What if a cop with a very low i.q bursts into your house because tgey think some druggie. Is squatting there? Despite me never doing hard drugs the old psych cop points a gun at a teenager for drugs? I really hope it was something else
What if your coursing shot you point blank range as an accident? Gee you see a pattern here
Your precious hun rights arent really rights when they’re abused
Unless your police or military or security guard for a high profile government figure there’s no reason you should own any
Well, if it were any old day, kids were home, etc… would you be carrying a gun? Do you always answer the door with a gun? You might have way more serious problems than gun rights buddy! Or do you have easily accessible guns all over the house? With children? Really? O.o Oh THAT sounds safe!
So, if you don’t want your kids shooting eachother, themselves, you, or the neighbors, you will have the guns safely locked away and the guy you say is at the door with a gun will still shoot you because your gun is not on you or near you. (Unless he’s very polite and waits for you to go get your gun?)
Here’s another scenario for you. It’s late at night. You hear someone in your yard. You hear a window slide open or a door handle jiggle. You are ready for this theif or murderer. You’ve gone through this scenario in your head a million times. You fire your gun. The infiltrator is dead.. you go to look them in the eye as they lay dieing… then you realize is was your own kid who snuck out and was trying to get back in their room without getting in trouble. You just murdered your child in cold blood.
Now, what if you had a tazer instead? What if you didn’t have to worry about every Tom, Dick, and Harry having a gun? What if people that tout their second ammendment actually read the whole damn thing, or at least got as far as “well REGULATED militia”? I swear to god, gun enthusiasts would bring a flame thrower to a burning house…
Really the countries you are talking about has more guns and more killings then anyone. They believe in killing anyone that doesn’t believe in there cause. They have more people being killed then anywhere in the world. Your a certain kind of stupid thinking the USA has more people being killed because of guns.
Not ‘cause of the Guns. The People, REALLY are the Problem. Not the Guns. They’ll will never be the Problem. Guns areTools, People with bad toughts, is the Problem.
Best Wishes from Norway, the last Soviet Republic.
Crack pipes are tools too
Or perhaps wealth inequality is the metric that is tied to increased gun violence, since all of the top countries for gun violence (including us) have World Bank Gini scores above 40%, something that these other wealthy, developed countries do not have because their economic policies are far more fair and balanced than ours.
Anyone so evil, crazy and stupid probably shouldn’t have a gun.
I enjoyed the column and the satire. Your words echo my feelings almost perfectly.
The problem is not the gun its who is behind the gun and their mental state. They must pull the trigger to commit the crime, take that away and they will find other means to commit the crime. In fact if we eliminate the gun from society that removes a very highly traceable weapon from forensics being able to tracked back to the one who committed the crime. But they will just use other weapons to complete the task. That would be cool I guess we could go back to the 1700’s with the sword and shield but then they would just kill using the sword and that would make life saving surgery really difficult. A gun may kill but does way less destruction to the body than a sword. As long as we dont have to take responsibility lets blame the gun and not ourselves. I choose Responsibility.
Yes…crazy people can use any weapon, such as this Seattle nut who stabbed people randomly downtown! https://wreg.com/news/random-knife-attack-in-downtown-seattle-injures-3-suspect-arrested-nude/
Oh, but one important difference… all his victims lived. Think they would have done so if his weapon had been a gun?
The crazy is what initiates the attack… but it’s not what makes the force deadlly.
Hi Annie, I agree, “guns don’t kill people, people kill people”
This line is enough to convince anyone about this fact. We should control ourselves first, then blame guns.
Pretty damn scary, but the stats speak for themselves.
you right but trump said he will not replace the 2nd amendment. Thats the president people voted for. lol
I’m not sure where you’re getting these stats from, but they make no sense. I think you need to educate yourself on why America has more guns than any other nation in the first place… there is so much more to this and this article dives into one of the many false assumptions about gun violence. Please read up on recent articles and make yourself more educated on the topic before making a statement without credible statistics or sources.
Less guns laying around, means less people can use them to do evil or stupid things. Less children can find them and accidentally kill others or themselves, the less all others accidentally kill others or themselves. Also, it isn’t just accidental shootings and evil killings. It is also, when a gun is around suicides become much more likely and lethal. Gun control has proven to work around the world. Only in America, where the NRA controls the government gun control doesn’t work.
Thank you for being the voice of reason and statistics that matter. I’m SO tired of the debunked and poorly reasoned arguments like this ‘cookie lover’ is regurgitating. If these people actually believe that only intention matters–that the power of the weapons and access to them have NOTHING to do with our problem, then why don’t they arm our military and LE with knives and baseball bats and save us a great deal of money? Why do they simultaneously argue for the need to protect themselves with the very weapons that they claim are not the problem if they don’t offer some uniquely significant power to inflict enough damage to feel protected. They’re talking out of both sides of their mouths. The Kellermann research is clear: guns ARE the problem.
Has any considered that for the last 2 generations we have lost control of our children. I was raised with guns and as have my children. But neither I orm children ere allowed to back talk me or their teachers.
The last couple generations have seen a lot more daycare/working families too. I honestly think the lack of an invested and caring guardian is the primary problem more often than not. Imho, we need to increase the availability of birth control. Fewer to no unwanted children would greatly decrease the amount of angry people. And the old egg or robo baby class project needs some serious help. That is not how to teach parenting. I mean, USA’s schooling system is tragic to say the least, but what can you expect in a country that doesn’t seem to care about the future aside from voteing down tax increases and voting for politicians who promise more money at the cost of every thing? We need to take care of the future, not just our selves.
I know you mean this as satire, but it’s quite possible, looking at US recent history (20th century), and US current actions, that The US people and nation ARE more evil by far.