Fertility

Guys, just to give you fair warning, I’m going to bring up some personal female stuff like cycles and birth control in this post. Nothing graphic, I promise. Just don’t want to take you by surprise or freak you out or anything. (You’re welcome.)

Fertility is an odd thing, isn’t it? Why is it that some women have to try for months or years to get pregnant, while others seem to get pregnant just by being looked at provocatively?

I fall into the latter category, in case you were wondering.

With our first, we had just decided to stop trying NOT to get pregnant, and within a month I was preggos with The Muse.

With our second, we had just decided to start thinking about when we might want another baby when I got a strange pain in my achilles tendon. Kind of a sharp, aching pain just behind my ankle bone. I mentioned it to my sister-in-law in passing, and she said (in her lilting Colombian accent), “Oh, I bet you’re pregnant!” I actually was a few days “late,” but I didn’t think there was any way I could possibly be pregnant. I also didn’t think there was any way having a pain in your ankle could be a sign of pregnancy. Well, I was wrong. She was right. Preggos with Dolittle.

With our third, I was on the phone with my friend, P-Diddles, complaining about some irritating post-nasal drip I’d recently acquired. She said she’d had that when she was newly pregnant, which reminded me that I actually had, too. Then I mentioned that I was a few days late, but there was NO POSSIBLE WAY I could be pregnant. Like Immaculate Conception no way. She made me go get a pregnancy test anyway. I went to Walgreens, got two tests, and they both said the same thing. Preggos again. Hello, BoyWonder!

Fertile Myrtle, right here.

So a couple of days ago, I started thinking about that whole post-nasal drip pregnancy thing because this cold’s been lingering so long. Oh, and there was also the matter of my cycle being a week (!) late. I told Havarti, and he panicked just a wee bit. We waited a day, and then couldn’t take the suspense. I went to Walgreens and got two tests again.

On my home from Walgreens, the song “Arms Wide Open” by Creed came on the radio. I laughed out loud, and then started to cry. If you’ve never listened to the words of that song, it’s about a guy whose wife/girlfriend/whatever just told him they’re going to have a baby, and he’s a little unsure about being ready. Ha! Good one, Universe.

So I got home, took the first test, and . . .

Not preggos.

I was still nervous, though. False negatives and whatnot. So I decided to wait a few days before taking the second test.

But as it turns out, I didn’t need to. Aunt Flo came knocking the next day.

Phew!

It was a good scare, though. I was ready to embrace it if I found out I was pregnant, but I felt nothing but relief when I wasn’t. Havarti, too. It helped us realize that we really do feel like we’re “done.” If we want more kids later, we can always adopt, but we’re ready to close our own fertility door, so to speak.

So until we get that door sealed shut for sure, no more provocative looks. I really don’t want to have to use that second test. 🙂

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Annie writes about life, motherhood, world issues, beautiful places, and anything else that tickles her brain. On good days, she enjoys juggling life with her husband and homeschooling her children. On bad days, she binges on chocolate chips and dreams of traveling the world alone.

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