12 Reasons I’m Never Giving up Yoga Pants

There’s this post going all over the Interwebs written by a mom who’s giving up yoga pants and leggings because she feels like she might cause men to stumble or be tempted or something by wearing them. I won’t speak for leggings, since I still can’t believe people over the age of 10 wear them as pants, but yoga pants? Sorry, but I’m not giving those babies up until God Himself lays down the Yoga Pants Law.

And I don’t think that’s going to happen, because yoga pants are God’s gift to motherhood. I’m pretty sure they were invented by a genius mom somewhere, since yogis certainly weren’t wearing them in India 1000 years ago. Calling this blessed invention “yoga pants” was a brilliant move to make us feel like we’re doing something healthy by wearing them. “Post-partum pants” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

At any rate, here are 12 reasons I’m never, ever giving up my yoga pants:

1) Black is the New Black

Yoga pants are black, what, like 99% of the time? Awesome, because black is slimming and always goes with everything.

2) Wash and Go

If my kid spits up, wipes snot, pukes, leaks a diaper, or drops sauce-laden “pasghetti” on my yoga pants, they wash easily. No dry cleaner. No ironing. Just wash and dry and go.

3) The Illusion of Fitness

When I wear them, I can pretend that I just did yoga, or that I’m on my way to do yoga, but I don’t actually have to do yoga. (I’m a busy mom, and besides, wearing the pants accounts for at least half of the benefit of yoga, doesn’t it?)

4) No Photoshop

Yoga pants flatter ye ol’ derriere. If childbearing gifted you with some extra junk in your trunk, yoga pants make your butt look smaller. Perhaps it’s the no pockets thing or the slightly spandexy squeezey thing, but they miraculously shave off at least an inch.

5) No Photoshop, Part II

On the other hand, if you need a little boost in the booty department, they make your butt look bigger. It doesn’t matter that this flies in the face of #4. Yoga pants make your butt look better, no matter what. It’s the law.

6) They Grow with You

If you gain a little weight because you keep eating your kids’ unwanted pizza crusts (and because, like me, you don’t actually DO yoga), yoga pants stretch to fit. In fact, a bigger behind just makes yoga pants tighter, which proportionally makes your butt look even better. (It makes sense, I promise.)

7) Cushy on the Poochy

The stretchy waist is oh so comfy on your post-pregnancy, I-can-only-suck-it-in-so-far, where-did-that-dimply-skin-flap-come-from, baby belly. It’s like wearing maternity pants without having to be pregnant.

8) Dress ’em up, Dress ’em down

They can be dressed up or down, no matter what the fashion magazines say. Flip flops with yoga pants? Check. Tennis shoes with yoga pants? Check. Boots with yoga pants? Check. Ballet flats with yoga pants? Check. They go with EVERYTHING.

9) Pull ’em up, Pull ’em down

We all know how challenging it is for moms to find time to go to the bathroom, much less deal with zippers and buttons once we’re in there. With yoga pants, you just yank ‘em down, do your business, and yank ‘em back up again. Just like your toddler’s Pull-ups. Easy peasy.

10) The Most Versatile Pajamas on Earth

With yoga pants, you don’t have to think about outfits. In fact, you don’t even have to change your bottoms at all in the morning. You can put yoga pants on before bed, wake up, throw on a bra and a cute top, and you’re good to go. When it comes down to it, yoga pants are basically pajamas. Versatile, flattering, socially acceptable pajamas you can comfortably wear in public.

11) Dads love yoga pants, too.

My husband loves me in my yoga pants, and since he’s the one I want to impress, it’s a win-win. Do I worry about other men thinking lustful thoughts when I wear them? Nope. There are going to be men who are turned on by jeans, by skirts, by pretty feet, by earlobes, and all kinds of things I don’t have the time or energy to worry about.

12) No Bank Breaking

I just ordered these yoga pants for $20. Right to my door. Free Prime shipping. Come on. That’s less than our family spends for one meal at Chipotle.

Seriously, I’m never giving these things up. I’m almost 40, so by the time they go out of style, I won’t care. And if I somehow have a religious epiphany that tells me yoga pants aren’t modest enough, I’ll be too old for it to matter. Woohoo! Viva la yoga pants!

(That yoga pants link is an affiliate link, by the way. That means if you click it and buy those yummy yoga pants, Amazon tosses a few pennies my way. So if you’re in the market for yoga pants and buy through that link, you help pay for this site, which is awesome because bloggers mostly write for free. If you aren’t in the market for yoga pants . . . Oh, who are we kidding? Everyone’s in the market for yoga pants. 🙂 I’m only telling you it’s an affiliate link because the FDC orthe FBI or the FCC or some F-acronym fancy-pants official thing requires bloggers to disclose such things. But seriously, no biggie if you don’t click. I have no way of knowing, so I won’t hold it against you. I’m just happy you’re here, and I hope you’ll stick around.)

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