Eureka! I’ve done it, you guys! I’ve FINALLY discovered why kids do all the baffling things they do. It’s not that they’re deliberately trying to drive us out of our ever-lovin’ minds, it’s that they are operating under a totally different set …
Calling All Phone Haters
Let me start by saying that I love my phone. LOVE it. Seeing as how Google Maps and I are best friends, I’d quite literally be lost without it. I do everything with my phone—take notes, do my banking, keep up with …
Motherhood, Graphically Organized
My daughter and I were exploring different kinds of graphic organizers the other day. I saw this flower one: And got inspired: I would have added “bedtime battles,” “random fit-throwing,” and “ongoing nose-picking,” but there wasn’t room, so I just …
10 Rules for Talking to Mommy Before Her Morning Coffee
1. Don’t talk to Mommy before her coffee. 2. Talking to Mommy before coffee is not allowed. 3. No talkie. I’m serious. 4. Opening your mouth and letting sound come out in Mommy’s direction is forbidden. 5. Attempting to ask Mommy …
That Time Our Kid Found a Condom on the Sidewalk
This weekend we had a barbecue with some friends at a park by Lake Michigan. The sun shone, a breeze blew, the kids played while the grown-ups talked. It was picturesque and lovely and perfect. And then our 10-year-old, Dolittle, …
12 Things That Should Be Banished from the Earth
Goody, it’s rant time! Parents have enough annoyance in their lives. If I could eliminate these 12 things from the earth, I’d do it in a heartbeat. In no particular order: 1. Glitter It doesn’t sweep. It doesn’t vacuum. It …
10 Things Parents Should Never Do
I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. But if you’re a parent, trust me. These are these things you should never, ever do. 1. Take a good, close look at your walls. They will make you want …
No Means No. Unless You’re Five.
On the way home from a long wait at the doctor, I gave 5-year-old BoyWonder a Ziploc bag of tortilla chips in the car. Our conversation after he finished them off: Can I have some more chips, please? No, we’ll …
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