At Least She Doesn’t Shed or Poo on the Floor

A conversation at our house this afternoon:

The Muse: Mo-om! Dolittle dumped out the entire bin of crayons, and when I asked her to pick them up, she just looked at me and tilted her head, and then totally ignored me!

Me: Dolittle? Did you dump out the crayons?

Dolittle: Yes. But that’s because I’m a DOG.

Me: If you dump out the crayons, you need to put them away.

Dolittle: But Mom! I’m a DOG!! I want to be a dog! A puppy! Puppies knock things over.

Me: I understand, but puppies also get in trouble if they go around dumping things out. Please go pick up the crayons you dumped out.

Dolittle: But Mom! (Real tears starting to flow.) Puppies don’t pick up after themselves!

Me: No, but humans do.

Dolittle: But I’m a PUPPY! (More tears.)

Me: I understand, but you can’t be a puppy if you’re going to go dumping out bins of crayons and not pick them up.

Dolittle: YOU DON’T LIKE ME BEING A DOG!!! (Tears tears tears. Oh, the joy of having girls.)

Me: I love you being a dog. I think you’re a great dog. But you still have to pick up the crayons or BoyWonder will start drawing all over the walls with them.

Dolittle: It’s no fun cleaning up.

Me: I know. Making messes is way more fun than cleaning up.

Dolittle: Hmph. (Conceding and mumbling to herself as she headed downstairs.) Dogs don’t have to clean up after themselves.

Poor Dolittle has been lamenting the fact that most of the houses we’ve been looking at don’t allow pets. The house we saw and applied for today doesn’t. She was quite distraught, but then she perked up and said, “Well, if we can’t get a pet, I’LL be the pet.” Perfect, we told her. I just didn’t know she’d take it quite this literally. 🙂

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